Darkness is a silent killer. A place where time stands still while the mind races at quantum speeds. It is said that the battle is for the mind. Is that why the noise inside of my head is just as real as the noise coming from the outside.
I would talk if the words didn’t float around meaningless in this abyss of the mind. I would scream but the echo hurts my head. I could reach out but don’t have the energy.
They tell me healing is a journey while we wait in line at the drive thru. As we wait a question is asked. “How are you?”
Not quite sure how to answer. How am I? Seems like a simple answer but I cannot stop this rat-wheel of thoughts long enough to decide. I can be “good”. I want to be “good”. Good is the answer that ends every conversation. Yes, good is the least awkward response, but it’s a lie.
I know I am not doing good, but the darkness has hidden the words I need to say. If only it would hide my face, then I could get away with it. Mental note: do not play poker.
If I asked, I’m sure many would want to help but it’s more ideal than real.
Those who want to help quickly leave when their words and prayers do not bring immediate healing.
They politely accuse me of unbelief, of an unwillingness to receive God’s healing.
They have not heard me; they have only heard themselves. They offer a quick general prayer to help them feel good enough to sleep peacefully while I lie awake dying a slow death alone in the dark.
Listening – the missing art
What does it look like to walk with someone who is lost in the dark? How do you respond to someone who is and has been struggling with their thoughts, with trauma, with addiction? How do you show up when someone is grieving the loss of a job, a loved one, a divorce?
Do you give them a label to define their struggle? Do you give them a book to read? Do you find yourself doing most of the talking?
Let’s face it, most of us struggle with what to say to a person who is deep in the pit. Many of us hijack the talking, not realizing the more we talk the less it is about the other person and the more we make it about ourselves.
What we are lacking is the art of listening. Learning this art requires that we seal our lips, shelve the memories of our own experiences in order to actively listen to what the other person is saying, allowing them to talk openly without interruption.
It’s with our ears we speak value to others.
